


Flickering Flames

by Dragonflame8242



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula (Avatar)-centric, Azula Has a Mental Breakdown, Hints of Azula Redemption, If the writers won't give her a redemption arc I will, Implied Eventual Azula Redemption, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27292534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonflame8242/pseuds/Dragonflame8242
Summary: Azula has always been the best. An exalted prodigy, heir to the Fire Nation throne, and the sole wielder of blue flames. And yet...
Relationships: Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Flickering Flames

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this as an assignment and my friends encouraged me to post it lol I hope you guys enjoy it!

Azula remembers the moment as much as she remembers the sharp, bright sun flashing off the blades Mai wielded.

~~~

“What is she doing?!” Fury colored Azula’s tone. Ty Lee, beside her, shrugged carelessly. 

Furious, Azula called for the guards to bring the traitor in front of her. Mai is brought in front of her, as graceful, composed, aloof as ever. As if the girl who chose her brother - no she did  _ not _ choose  _ him  _ \- didn’t exist. 

“Leave us alone,” Azula commanded the guards. “I never expected this from you.” The words were calmly stated, but she was seething. How  _ dare _ she defy the Crown Princess and Heir Apparent to the Firelord? She was nothing but a replaceable subject. One amongst many. 

Mai merely lifted her head to level the cold stare at her. 

“The thing I don’t understand is why? Why would you do it? You know the consequences.” The words were pulled out of her mouth without her permission. 

“I guess you just don’t know people as well as you think you do. You miscalculated. I love  _ Zuko _ more than I fear you.” Mai declared. 

Azula could hear those words echoing, bouncing around in her head, mocking her. A cruel reminder and imitation of her mother and childhood. 

She couldn’t help her outburst, “No, YOU miscalculated! You should have feared me more!” Azula brings her hands up just as Mai pulls out her blades, the sun glinting off them. Just as soon as she began her attack, she was falling, Ty Lee jabbing her in the back and sides. Just as they attempt to flee however, the guards surround them as Azula looks on from the floor, paralyzed. “You’re both fools!” She spits as she is hauled to her feet. 

“What shall we do with them, Princess?” A guard asks. 

Azula looks at them, their faces unreadable to her when before she had known them since childhood. “Put them somewhere I’ll never have to see their faces again and let them rot!” 

~~~

The words are bouncing around in her head again, confusing her. Her father would have killed them if he were in her place. Why didn't she? Why didn't she immediately order their executions? Zuko had been punished for speaking out of turn, she had witnessed several times what would happen to the advisors who tried to tell her father the massive toll the war had taken on their people. For betrayal, the punishment was far worse and yet, something in her was _weak, unwilling, unworthy._

~~~

The sun was bright as it beamed harshly down upon the palanquin that shielded her from the bright rays and bore her up the steps to her father. Annoyed, she peered out the aperture, “Come on slowpokes! Faster!” 

Running up the dais, she called out to him, “Sorry I'm late, Father. Good palanquin bearers are so hard to come by these days. So, is everything ready for our departure?”

Firelord Ozai’s back is facing her, as he surveys the armada laid out before him. “There has been a change of plans, Azula.” 

“What?” she asked, unsettled. 

“I've decided to lead the fleet of airships to Ba Sing Se alone. You will remain here in the Fire Nation.” he stated coldly. 

Confused and vexed, she petulantly argued, “But I thought we were going to do this together.” 

His voice went flat, “My decision is final.”

Her face contorted in anger, (and perhaps fear, but she was Azula, she didn’t  _ feel _ fear), “You ... you can't treat me like this!” She shot to her feet, “You can't treat me like Zuko!”

“Azula, silence yourself.” he stated, irked. 

Azula continued anyway, voice rising, “But it was my idea to burn everything to the ground! I deserve to be by your side!”

“Azula!” He thundered, clearly unimpressed and displeased with her disobedience. “Listen to me. I need you here to watch over the homeland. It's a very important job that I can only entrust to you.” 

Hope and relief are reflected in her eyes, “Really?”

“And for your loyalty,” he continues, “I’ve decided to declare you the new Firelord.”

“Firelord Azula?” glee colored her tone. Her father had seen her worth and her capacities to appoint her such a position and honor, even before his death. “It does seem appropriate, but what about you?”

“Fire Lord Ozai is no more. Just as the world will be reborn in fire, I shall be reborn as the supreme ruler of the world. From this moment on, I will be known as the Phoenix King!” As he proclaimed this, banners that bore new emblems rose and his attendants draped him in new epaulets. 

~~~

Later, she’ll remember the small voice in the back of her head realizing the position he had given her was merely that. Another position he had molded her into, just another pawn on his chess board. 

~~~

Her reflection stared back at her. Her hair was out of place. Imperfect. Jagged, lopsided bangs hung down her face, a jarring contrast from her usual, sleek updo. It was only fitting that she resembled such filth. Unworthy of even gaining her father’s approval, unworthy of becoming the firelord. But that wasn’t entirely true, was it? She was a prodigy, the best firebender in the royal line, descendant and namesake of Azulon himself. She was more than capable, and yet, she was only a pawn to be manipulated and used, arranged as Ozai saw fit. No better than Mai or Ty Lee.

She was a monster incapable of nothing else but destruction. Her long-gone mother certainly saw that. She kept away from the horror she had birthed, keeping her _poor, precious_ _Zuzu_ away from the wicked clutches of Azula. A flash of movement caught her eye. Eyes widening, she could only stand in front of the mirror, frozen as her mother’s reflection moved, as her voice sounded in Azula’s ears, as though she were here, “All your life, you’ve used fear to control people, like your friends, Mai and Ty Lee.”

“Well what  _ choice _ do I have? Trust is for fools.  _ Fear _ is the only reliable way. Even  _ you _ fear me.” Azula shot back.

“No, I  _ love _ you Azula. I do.” Her mother softly pronounced. Azula’s eyes widened. Enraged at her false promise, she picked up the brush and hurled it at the mirror, shattering it to pieces with a sob, falling to her knees. Before she and the pieces fell, she could see her broken reflection staring back at her. 

~~~

In her prison, yes, prison because no matter how nice the furnishing was, it was clear she was to be kept here, trapped in one of the many rooms in the royal palace. She supposed it was better than being in the dungeon, Zuko was far too nice to lock his younger sister away there. Their father had already been placed there after the Avatar defeated him and took away his bending. There was irony in that, but she was far too tired to care. She felt confused, conflicted, and seeing her brother with the Avatar, as if a few months before he hadn’t been doing his hardest to capture him, was not helping. All the thoughts she had kept shoved away resurfaced again, this time viciously. 

She recalled her fight with Zuko. Her hysterics. The broken realization that all she had ever been was disposable. All she had ever been was feared.  _ Unwanted, unloved, unworthy _ . All she had ever known was pleasing the Firelord, the highest honor to be achieved being absolute power. She laughed to herself. What a joke. Zuko had realized it before her. He had nearly beaten her in their Agni Kai, that realization making him stronger than her hate and anger. Perhaps, she too, could come to that same realization. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting fanfic, please comment!  
> I wanted to include other scenes from her perspective (all with the idea of an eventual redemption, because she is FOURTEEN and the comics did her dirty) so let me know if you want to see that! Maybe I'll do a full redemption story for her lol  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Do not repost anywhere else.


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